Saturday, January 24, 2015

A hard day

For the most part we are so happy to be in Canada. We love the way people are more relaxed, how everything is so much more family oriented, the outdoors you can enjoy whenever you want (because there is no rain!), wildlife all around…its endless and we enjoy every minute of it.

We have also been blessed with a little girl that is adventurous and who wants to explore new things and who was never scared of leaving Holland. It has made it so much easier for us to leave and we realize just how lucky we are. Because even though we did consider her a great deal before leaving, and even though we took every precaution to protect her and make the transition as easy as possible, we couldn’t have controlled how she really felt about leaving. We have told her how proud we are more times than we can count. Because we are so proud. She has done amazingly. She has adapted the Canadian lifestyle even before we could. She now loves bacon and corrects our English.

But still….there are those incidents that break your heart. Like a couple of days ago, when she was really tired and we watched a movie from Holland. She was suddenly overcome by this intense grief about everything and everyone she had left behind in Holland. Her age made it impossible to really explain what she felt but her tears said it all. There was nothing we could do but hold her and cuddle her. Simply because her grief is real. She did have to leave everyone behind and leave everything she knew, including her language. It felt like a betrayal to simply try and make her tears disappear because we sometimes miss things too. It broke our hearts. Seeing her pain and her tears made us realize once again just how big she is. Barely five years old and just adapting without any problems. She never complains or misbehaves (well, nearly never :) ). She is such a strong little girl with an amazing character.

We know in our hearts we made the best decision by moving her here, we know she will be Canadian and she won’t have any regrets, simply because we know this country just suits her. Luckily she knows it too. Because when she was in tears and we asked her if she maybe wanted to go back to Holland and live there, she looked at us in shock and exclaimed: “No!” She did want to go there for a day or two and then return home as she now calls Canada.

It’s just part of this move. It all has two sides. A beautiful one and a slightly darker one. If we had never left Holland we would have always wondered if it hadn’t been better to have left but we wouldn’t have had to miss anything. We now life a life that suits us but it does mean missing out on some things back in Holland. For us adults it’s a little easier because you have a clearer picture of what the future now looks like and how it probably would have been if we had stayed. For a five year old it’s sometimes a little harder. Although we can learn a thing or two from her too! Because I have to admit; she is a master in living in ‘the now’. She hardly ever looks back or forward and that makes it a lot easier to just enjoy the moment. It also means that even though my heart still aches from the tears she cried a few days ago, she has not looked back and isn’t sad at all anymore because right now she loves living in Canada!

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